I love the internet, who doesn't? It fills every answer to every question I have like, what does Kate Winslet look like naked, what does Sofia Vergara look like naked, what does Joel McHale look like naked and many more...But often I do have a question that seems to require some research without using Google Images and a few minutes, I decided to tackle something from my favourite movie of all time.
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| How does Clive Owen stay so handsome and cool in war? |
Sorry, my favourite childhood movie, Wizard of Oz. The film for those who don't know about it, is about a girl who gets taken away by a tornado from her awful dust-bowl lifestyle to a magical land where everything is colourful, beautiful and is possibly ruled by a mediocre magical monarchy. It's like being taken out of Kansas and thrown into a
Los Angeles apartment complex for a short time. Bad metaphors aside, Wizard of Oz is a classic tale about learning to step up to shitty neighbours, that trusting in random friends can be pretty cool and that sometimes your problems can be solved by water.
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| Just add water, right? |
However, one question seemed to pop up on my Facebook feed because I apparently Liked George Takei's Facebook page. Not being a Star Trek fan, I can't even remember why I liked Mr. Takei's page other than the fact I heard him in that
Community episode where there's the zombie outbreak and he's pretty awesome. Regardless, Mr. Takei or whoever is running his FB page share some great stuff, particularly this:
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| Oh my! |
Being a fan of the film for so long, I had never actually asked that question before. I just assumed it was just an artistic thing that the Lollipop Guild approved and placed as a symbol that they were all knowing and control where people go in the world. I mean, they essentially tell Dorothy (along with Glinda) to just follow the yellow brick road and being a guild I imagine that they have some kind of mass infrastructure or political power in the land of Oz.
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| Seriously those curls gotta mean something, or they all need to hire a new hairdresser in Oz |
A lot of the people in the Facebook comments made jokes about the fact that the red bricks lead to Detroit or "your imagination" or to the Witches castle, and yet no one made a Bob Dylan joke. There has to be some kind of answer that someone mentions. It can't be my imagination because that's in my head and as far as I know, that's never escaped or done anything worthwhile. It can't be Detroit because the only ways to get to Detroit are via Ann Arbor, Toledo, Canada or a series of life-destroying decisions including killing a hooker and looking for a place to hide out. Finally, it can't be the witches castle because there are no red bricks, just a weird tessellating pattern of blandness.
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| You'd think one of those guys guarding would be a decorator or something. |
So where does that red brick road go to? Clearly, it's not any of those places and it's not something that someone through into the last second because they thought it was funny. The last time in the film we see Dorothy completely ignore it when she starts taking her first steps into the wonderful world of Los Angeles Oz.
Of all the goddamn places I could have found the answer on
Yahoo Answers, of all places. Of course, there were plenty of other resources and pages, over a quarter of a million in fact, but with the simple search and click, I was able to find it and deliver it to you in a format that seems overly long and lacking in wit. The red brick road leads to Quadling. There, you go. You can stop reading now and spend the rest of your day doing something productive.
Okay, a little context. The Land of Oz is split up into four countries, so really it's not so much a land as it is a continent with a big rich green bullshit palace in the middle; a bit like Luxembourg being surrounded Germany, France, Switzerland and Belgium. The areas are split between four areas with Emerald City at the dead centre with impassable, deadly, sandy and wasteful stuff around the edges, again like Europe. To make it easier, here's a goddamn map of Oz:
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| Yes, that says Winkie Country...don't look at me, I would have called it Wang County |
But wait, there's also this map as well...
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| Christ, it's like trying to find where Mesopotamia ends and begins |
Anyway, enough Geography and lame geographical jokes. If you watch
the film (apologies for the French), Glinda fucks off right before the "Follow the Yellow Brick Road" song and leaves on the path of the Red Brick Road straight to Quadling Country. In fact, if the second map is to be believed, Dorothy lands in Munchkin Country, which in the first book
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz says is in the Eastern quandrant of Oz, how is it possible to say that Glinda is the Good Witch of
the North if she comes from Quadling Country and heads back there via floating over the red brick road?
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| Excuse me madam, could I see your birth certificate? |
Yes, technically she is the Good Witch of the North because she was born in the Uplands of Gillikin, if you believe the history
Wicked professes to young kids in schools, but she is the ruler of Quadling. She is also renamed Galinda in those books, which is another thing I don't get, considering the book series is essentially public domain and stuff like
this can be published by Alan Moore.
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| Alright, I do not want to fuck with this man... |
Wizard of Oz is a timeless film and now you know something you can talk about at parties, especially a Halloween one where some girl dresses up as slutty Dorothy. The film has been used as a reference to everything from
early 20th century agrarian business and capitalism to
the rise of populism and
referenced in over a thousand films, TV shows and video games. Oddly enough, if you click the link above where I made the joke about Los Angeles the first time, you'll be taken to a whole page filled with connections to David Lynch's surreal film, Mulholland Drive. The film includes a cafe called Winkies, like Winkie County, similar set direction and colour schemes and plenty of allusions to the classic 1939 film, not that it has too much relevance overall for this piece, I just really like that film and this is my blog.
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| Naomi Watts fans, thank me later. |
So yes, now you know another piece of pointless trivia that you can spout to people who will then look at you, acknowledge it and then continue to talk about real problems like how much money they make, how happy they are with their significant other and how great their life is overall. Man, fuck those people with consistent jobs, financial prospects and enjoyable lives.
Send any literary factual errors or compliments to the comment section. You can even email me or bug me about it on Twitter @HarrisonTheFan
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