Recently broken up with, jobless, overweight with a very thin outlook. I brought in the new year getting drunk and hit in the balls with a good friend of mine. I woke up on the first of January, 2011 bleary-eyed and with a pad and pen jotted out what I wanted to do this year. I turned to the first blank page I had, after a long list of ideas and things I'd done in Melbourne in 2010. This year was going to be something different, something new.
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| Okay nothing that new... |
First thing I wrote down:
Be less of a dick
Now you could be as subjective about this as you possibly can, but I think this year I came off as less of a dick then I had in previous years. I learnt more about what it is to be humble and how to pick my fights and when to shut the fuck up in a situation, but most importantly I learnt from two big mistakes, which I'll get to later on.
No one get where they are by doing it alone and that trust is almost always the only thing you can have with some people. So my dickishness, may or may not have decreased this year, but I know for a fact I didn't feel as terrible about myself this year, as I have in other years. I'm either being less or more honest about myself or I'm slowly going mad, either way, hopefully less dickish.
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| Now if I could only be this ballsy. |
DJ 5 Gigs
I have this delusion that one day, someone, somewhere in the world will listen to my mix and enjoy it and party out to it and enjoy themselves with my music and I think that seeing that visibly, seeing that live is so much fun. I have this whole theory about electronica and DJ's being the new rockstars and how being a DJ now has so many different connetations behind being just someone who "plays music."
So I did two gigs at University as apart of a contest, two as apart of an art installation, one at a house party and then another at a local club in Wollongong. I know it's not exactly Ibiza and a film festival, but it's something I'm quite happy with, to some degree with my tiny laptop, hard drive and head movements.
You can be creative as a DJ, you can be out there, you can find new mixes and new songs and open up the ears to an audience who may have never heard this or that track before. I love DJing, it is a hobby first and foremost, but if I ever had the chance to travel the world, DJ and make a living, even for a year off doing that, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Whether it's a lack of talent or exposure, I know I love doing it and I know some people who love hearing it and if I know I already have three chances this year to DJ and I'm gonna work hard at it.
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| You have no idea what these two Belgians mean to me. |
I know this may seem like one of those apathetic/ironic statements that most University kids say to either a) make themselves feel better if they do fail or b) make others feel better if they do, but I genuinely don't want to fail University. Most people don't know but I pretty much failed my entire first year of University. I originally was doing Computer Science with Creative Writing and in my second session, whether it was personal problems or my job at the time, I fucked up, hard and pretty much failed half my subjects.
I'd gotten early entry into Comp Sci and basically had a secure position at the University of my choice and was more than content to stay where I was and not be a little bitch and be like, oh man I don't know about Comp Sci. But honestly, I was still felt alone socially, like I was still in high school. The entire faculty was one giant pissing contest with a lack of empathy on every corner. I mean to be honest, this was the real University experience, this woke me up to the fact that it wouldn't be like all those crazy film's I'd seen where people would be breezing through classes and still having wacky hijinx...although the wackiest hijinks I had in my first year was making out with a lot of people and peeing on a car all in one night.
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| To the owner of a white Accord from three years back, I was young, drunk and sorry. |
So in my second year, I transferred from Comp Sci to Communication and Media (my first choice) and have never looked back since. It paid off greatly and have a year and a half left to my double degree and I love everything I do in both Comms and Media and Creative Arts. I didn't fail anything this year but was, like last year on the precipice of failing when it comes to theory.
I suck at writing essays, plain and simple. I'm all over the place with my writing. I can only have a minor containment of an idea or a theorem before I begin to sprawl out like an octopus waking up from a nap. Before long, I am one curse word away from it turning it into a rant. I saw almost every year, I'm gonna do well at theory, which is the only component of Creative Writing which MUST be completed to actually graduate, but every year, I skim past and pass and that's enough to satisfy my records, but ultimately leaves me dead inside...academically.
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| A University education can be a bit of a white elephant in the room... |
I get the class work, I get the movements, it's just getting it down. It's showing a lack of skill rather than knowledge, he defended himself, but ultimately, I didn't fail at Uni this year and for that I can hold my head high...for now.
Get a Job
My career as...something has never been financially viable. The last job I officially had before this year was an SES phone worker and it was one of the worst jobs I ever had. Not because of the people or the environment, it was just too much for me. I was 18 and a bit high strung at the time working late nights and whenever a phone would ring, my heart would start to race and to cut a story short, a flood happened, I couldn't deal with a call and let someone else take it and I was let go some time later.
It devastated me, thinking that I could never really work anywhere ever again. So 2010 came and went without me having a job as well and just left me wondering, how the fuck did I get by without eBay and my parents being incredibly nice to me. But in 2011, I realised that it wasn't enough for my parents and relying on them just made me feel worse and worse, so eventually I got a job at a cafe.
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| Go fuck yourself... |
It was one of the most interesting (and only) jobs I've ever had and I was making alright money. I turned up the first day of work hungover and regretful after trying to kiss a girl at a party and everything with me being a job seemed alright. I worked there for a few months and Uni started back up again and I simply forgot to actually turn up at work. I woke up one Sunday morning and did some Uni work, played some video games and then I remembered around about four in the afternoon that I simply did not go to work.
I never went back. A mix of fear and shame had gotten me again, like someone who really gets too invested in The Sims. I felt even worse that the guy running the place was a friend of my father's who I have not seen since but expect a great big series of jokes beginning with "Oh it was great to see you turned up..." So I thought that was it for me...again.
But I started hearing about Freelancer.com and started freelancing for a few people advertising services online. I wrote a few comics and a few articles and eventually I saw someone looking to pay people for doing news articles for a video game website and I nabbed it up in a heartbeat and have not looked back since.
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| The above is not a paid advertisement...just a gateway drug for writers who need...gateway drugs |
I'm on a slight writer salary but honestly I should not complain about anything that has happened. Most people who do journalism or creative writing degrees of having a writing job and I guess this is a writing job. But the thing is, despite what everyone had told me about "it's who you know" and this that and the other about writing, the main thing is to put yourself out there. You have to make a genuine assessment of what you can do and then fucking do it!
No matter what idea, how original or bullshit it can be, you have to write it and get it done. I try and make sure that, unless I or a family member or my loving girlfriend have something planned, I make sure I write everyday, even if it's not for work. I make sure that there is something I want to mix or write or think about and that I use my time effectively and yes, I do not have a "real job" and fuck you for thinking job implies leaving your house to make money. I'd honestly love to have a job where I work in an office, read press releases, talk to co-workers about gaming and be incredibly friendly, but the definition of writer and journalist and worker has changed thanks to the internet and if you think otherwise, you need to catch up or stop being so incredibly narrow minded.
If you can research and type, you can be a journalist. If you can be honest, find a link in your own opinions to facts, you can be a journalist. If you can get people to listen to what you have to write, you're a writer. Now I got that out of the way...if anyone is looking for a writer, please email me @ harrisonthefan@gmail.com
Travel to New Zealand
Now, I'm not a fan of Lord of the Rings, I'm not a fan of big majestic landscapes, I'm not a fan of hipsters. What I am a fan of is Hilary Youngman and Cody Hayward-Morrison
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| Possibly the cutest couple in the fucking world |
I traveled eagerly to the country and met Hilary and Cody for the first time at the airport. We took a bus back to their apartment and had a crazy week and a half eating donuts, watching True Blood and drinking. Every single night was great food and great fun, even when I was stuck in the country due to the fucking ash cloud.
I hope to see you guys again this year and I'll bring Arcadia along as well.
Of course my NYR list wasn't that short. There was heaps on there that I simply didn't do, but I'll get to the other stuff that I did anyway.
Things I Did Anyway:
Became a video game journalist
I had always hoped that one day I'd do something in the video game industry, but I'd felt the same way about television and film. I'd be looking for opportunities and with only a bit of technical skill, I'd felt that maybe video games or at least writing about them may be the way. I'm currently a writer for QJ.net but hope to branch out in 2011, but let's just look at what I did this year.
I went out of my way to interview over twenty different people about the video games they were making and I got some great feedback and interesting conversations about video games and the development of them from around the globe. A big shout out to the guys at Running with Scissors and RatLoop who have been the coolest and nicest people. I've been writing about and following video game culture all my life and now I get paid to do it is beyond a dream come true. I may be one of the only boyfriends who has an excuse to play video games and can get away with it.
I visited an event put on by the IGDA in Sydney earlier this year and this just solidified every single notion I had about being in the video game industry. There they were. All these people who were incredibly passionate and cared about their industry. All with good ideas, willing to listen and even more willing to get feedback and follow through with their games. Seeing all those people and how they talked about their work as a craft, just made me believe even more about what they were doing. This is where I want to be. Even in a city and industry that had one of the biggest falling outs in business, let alone video game history, all these people stood tall and are all still making games.
I am a Video Game Journalist.
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| Tell no one... |
Directed, financed, wrote and shot a trailer
Okay a trailer may not be that big a deal but it was for me. It was based on a script that I had written and finished and loved writing called Surveillance. It was over 100 pages and was a found footage horror film shot from the perspective of a stalker who follows a family who begins to fall apart, over the course of a year.
I shot it with four friends over the course of a day. Literally, the two and a half minutes you see in the trailer was all shot in and around Wollongong for less than $100...okay I'm really not making a good case for the trailer or my expertise, but the point being, there was pride in my work and I felt competent at what I was doing. I was able to create an established world in which someone is stalking this family and make it somewhat believable.
It was originally apart of a Uni project and when I first showed it to the class. There was some noise and snickering for the first minute of the trailer but once the trailer turns over with the music, there was nothing but silence.
Okay, so the music is a bit cliché as are the titles, but it was a first attempt and it was a lot of fun to shoot and I would hope to do something like that again, either this year or in the future...maybe not a horror film though.
Met the Girl of my dreams
I don't want to go into a long winded thing about how I love her and how amazing she is and how perfect we are together. I know that, I don't need to justify it, I know she loves me and one day I might tell the story, but this year I fell for her and she fell for me and everything has been perfect.
Joined Twitter and Tumblr
So I guess that makes me a bit of a hipster, but fuck it. Twitter has been the best thing in the world for me. Amazing amount of networking and finding a bunch of people who actually like my work online and expanding what I actually do and want to do in the future. Without it I wouldn't have interviewed a BAFTA award winning game developer...srsly.
As for Tumblr...it's fun and funny. I originally started a poetry blog and it turned into something else and now this is my real blog.
And finally, Musical Highlights:
I went to my first Big Day Out. I got on stage with Andrew W.K. I got to see LCD Soundsystem before they disbanded. I saw Weird Al Yankovic with a friend and had a great time. I saw Sampology live and got grinded on by a girl who was a fan of Doctor Who during a dubstep remix. I saw Tom Loud's Hot Dub Time Machine and VDJ is the wave of the future, I'm fucking serious.
And then there was things on the list last year of things I just didn't really do or didn't complete.
I didn't lose weight. I lost a bit of weight, but I didn't get down to my goal weight of 80. I'm at 92 as of now and hope to exercise more in the coming months.
I didn't finish a novel, comic or short film.
I was working on a comic with Cody and an artistic friend of his. I'd written two full comics but things fell through with the artist and her life got a tad complicated and with a lack of drawing talent of my own, the tale of heaven, hell and earth may never truly be told.
I had a great idea for a novel set in the mid-50's about a series of deaths set around Los Angeles during the death of old Hollywood...then LA Noire came out and I lost a bit of ambition. To be fair, the game only has a small series of subplots that focus on Hollywood, but I thought I'd wait it out and also didn't do NaNoWriMo.
And whilst I could claim Surveillance as a short film. It was unprofessional, rushed and merely a piece of what I would have loved to shoot if I had the chance.
Animated a short or had a play put on.
These two are kind of addressed above but were on the list anyway. As were a few other things I didn't get to do or read.
Point is, I don't regret what I did or didn't do this year...I think. I'll post a retraction if it comes up.
So what's on my list for 2012? I made a few vague statements on Twitter a few days ago, but mainly I just want a good 2012. Nothing really bad happened last year except my cat, Moses passed away, but Arcadia and I got our kitten, Anya, so I guess it was a bit of trade off.
So here's my internet draft, I have the real 2012 list stashed in the same book.
1. Go to Finland and Turkey
2. See Girl Talk live and dance on stage.
3. Work/Write for the ABC
4. Don't fail Uni.
5. See Hilary and Cody again
6. Turn 21 and DJ for my birthday.
7. Continue working as a video game journalist
8. Lose weight or get to 85kg and stay there.
9. Be less of a dick.
To 2012!
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