ARMA2: Combined Operations
You know you're just buying it for DayZ, you could get some sweet tactical shooting from Operation Flashpoint. Also remember to stock up on bandages and axes.
9 awesome mods out of 10
Price: $14.99
Max Payne 3
Max Payne 3 is...wait, I get it now: Max Pain, as if he's in a lot of pain and anguish. Wow, it took me over a decade to get that, so yeah, this game is probably pretty good.
8 rehab tokens out of 10.
Price: $22.49
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| Bruce Willis looks so different with a beard... |
Awesomenauts
Awesomenauts is pretty awesome...naut...but really, it is. It's a great co-op experience with a strong focus on being colourful, fun and well, awesome.
9 exploding robots out of 10.
Price: $3.39 (3 pack for less than $7)
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| Haha...more like aweso- Oh, I already made that joke. |
Portal 2
Stephen Merchant is a single eyed overly self-aware robot with anxiety. No, you buy it now and I'll wait!
9 SPAAAAAAAAACE out of 10
Price: $4.99 (2 pack for less than $9)
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| Yeah, I am one of the best characters ever written in video games. Yep. |
Sleeping Dogs
This game does not actually contain any sleeping dogs, just Emma Stone pretending to be Asian and badass. She only pulls off one of them and the game is GTA: Hong Kong but without any lame cousin calling.
8 lying dogs out of 10
Price: $24.99
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| Wait...this is...dammit! |
Prototype 2
Prototype 2 tells the story of a game that isn't yet finished. The game was originally going to be called Beta 2, but the title was already copywritten back in 1977, times be tough for Activision.
7 anti-hero clones out of 10
Price: $34.99
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| ...get your prostate checked annually. |
NOW THESE ARE THE DEALS I WOULD PURCHASE NOW AND NOT BE WORRIED ABOUT BURNING THROUGH YOUR WALLET.
Company of Heroes
The game is about a corporation going broke and you must go into business making heroes. It doesn't go too well so you start a war with different factions.
9 burning buildings out of 10
Price: $2.49 (Gold Version less than $8)
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| Why did we put so much money in making heroes?! |
Of Orcs and Men
Are you an Orc or a Men? Well, you don't have to decide with this sweet RPG title about Orcs and the humans who are around them sometimes.
9 burnt Orc faces out of 10.
Price: $19.99
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| Yeah, I called you a pussy. So what? |
Garrys Mod
This is a game about a man who isn't sure about what British music to commit to in his small town. He decides to become a Mod, but is this the right choice for Garry, find out in GARRY'S MOD?!
9 sweet haircuts out of 10
Price: $2.49
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| Worst PEZ exhibit ever... |
AMNESIA: The Dark Descent
Don't...just don't even ask me to play that ga- What was that? DUDE, THE FUCK WAS THAT NOISE?!
9 dark rooms out of 10
Price: $4.99
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| FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK EVERYTHING |
Sim City 4: Deluxe Edition
Create cities, destroy cities, create cities, raise taxes, destroy citizens lives with industrial zones. Yes, Sim City 4 is awesome and is not as boring as I just made it sound.
9 UFOs destroying cities out of 10
Price: $5.99
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| Everything is Fucked. |
Tower Wars
TOWER WARS?! I thought it said Tower Mars. I wanna build towers on Mars...Marscrapers.
8 Broken Towers out of 10
Price: $4.99
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| Wish it was set on Mars...*pout* |
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