How I Spent my Bummer Vacation

Download or Torrent, it's your choice

Tracklisting:
Can't Go For That - Hall and Oates
Flat Beat - Mr. Oizo
Pop Muzik - M
Hydrogen - M|O|O|N
Sexyback - Justin Timberlake
This Feeling - AB/DC
The Bomb - Bucketheads
I'm Corrupt - DCUP
Let the Beat Control Your Body - Brodinski
ADD SUV - Uffie (Feat. Pharrel Williams)
Cameo Lover - Kimbra
Far from Home - TIGA
Going Nowhere - Cut Copy
ABC News - Pendulum
Get Shaky - Ian Carey Project
Animal Rights - Deadmau5
Swimming Pools - Kendrick Lamar
Sun - Caribou
Booty Work - T-Pain
Crave You (Adventure Club remix) - Flight Facilities
Imagine the Fire - Hans Zimmer
Goooo - TNGHT
Music Sounds Better with You - Stardust
Cali Scoundrel - Ricco Suave
You Wanted a Hit (Soulwax Mix) - LCD Soundsystem
Wannabe - Spice Girls

The Australian Content Problem...and a Solution

It's Australia Day, Happy Australia Day. It's Australia...Day...Australia

There's something called the Meisner Effect that a friend taught me about a year or so ago. In it's confused layman's form (See: How I explain things), it's the psychological disassociation from words after repeating them several times to the point that they become absurd. For an example, you can see Christoph Waltz almost break apart as human being and become with the acting cosmos by simply saying Dill Pickle in that clip.

Waltz is a big Rugrats fan

 I mention this effect as I have experienced it recently when it came to the world Australia and the word following it, content. Having talked at length with friends at parties and people in different industries, from gaming to film to internet neurosurgery (It's gonna be big in 2013), the idea of Australian Content has almost turned itself into a paradoxical idea, where most of the Australian Content we love has been influenced in some way from overseas revenue or influence. Whether that's actors, money or writers from the US, people are often fine with it, as long as it's being made here and then people just shrug it off. The whole issue is about the possibility of creating and exporting said content, as opposed to importing a lot of it.


What I believe is honestly that the average person doesn't care about Australian content. People will ask "Did you see this Australian show" or that "Australian show" and they will say "nup" and the punchline will be, well, "it was Australian." And then they laugh themselves silly and take a nose dive into grinded up Breaking Bad DVD's. It's not longer a joke. People who want to actually become apart of the entertainment industry must either strive and spin the wheel in America or become a new bride to Kyle Sandilands. Both are not financially viable issues and both will leave you broken-hearted and have people questioning your actions for the rest of your life.

Kyle Sandilands: Not even once.

I came across this realisation earlier this year when I decided that my only New Years Resolution was to write and produce more comedy content. I want to continue doing this, whether it's in the form of podcast, video or just these blogs, I want to do this. However, I have a long term goal for writing for a sitcom or satiricial show. A big problem with that is that I have a feeling my humour doesn't really sync up with a lot of the comedy or "light entertainment" as the Logies refers to it.

We haven't had a comedy category in five years, ya kangaroo's anus

Another issues is my age and look. I know I'm getting off on a different tangent here, but let's cover this now, so I don't have to bring it up when I meet you in person. I'm 21 going on 22,  I have a beard and am slightly overweight. While I'm working on the first and third thing, there isn't that many options for me starting out. I have a screenwriting major as apart of a Creative Arts degree and working on different things, but the chances of being hired or an opportunity are thin, unless someone from a TV channel puts out a call on Pedestrian.TV.

But, you might say, finger poised in the air like a 1950's douchebag, what about writing for a current comedy show. Most shows are very insular with their writing and often only have one or two writers. Looking at some of the biggest productions from the past 3 years, they usually contain only singular writers who are over the age of thirty who have been working in the industry for over a decade. The Chaser's cast are all now in their mid to late 30's, having started in 1999 with their newspaper and then went into TV in 2001 with "The Election Chaser." They started in their twenties, continued on TV and stage and kicked some serious arse.

Actually The Chaser is probably one of the rare examples of being insular as they hired Zoe Norton Lodge and the cinematically-talented Lee Zachariah from the infinite-hiatus Bazura Project. But let's look at other people like, Dan Ilic, who's been working his arse off as well for over a decade and is now 32. John Safran appeared on Race Around the World when he was 25 and has made some of the most interesting and personal documentary series this side of "Go Back to Where you Came From," now he's 40. The comedy landscape is not dissimilar to our aging population and we see it rampant everywhere. Oddly enough it seems like a weird version of Logan's Run where everyone gets out of being funny by thirty-five, simply because it's time to be serious and having children and being a good husband is somehow important.

Now, you might think I'm being childish and mean pointing out these guys ages and being jealous of their fame and creativity and you know what, I am. Fuck you and everything you are, you talented funny fucksticks. But in a serious note, these guys are actually inspirations who I continue to watch over and over again, laugh time after time, use as examples to Breaking Bad doped friends, recite storylines for friends, find on iView or find illegally reproduced online, like so many digital dumpster babies.

I'm sorry for that imagery.

Okay, back to the original issue. After an exhausting morning, I awoke around two in the afternoon to the sound of my father snoring on the couch with the TV blaring. It was the show Get Smart. If you've never seen, Get Smart, it's a fantastic sitcom made by two of the funniest American writers in the history of film, television and theatre, Buck Henry and Mel Brooks. I turned it down and I stared at it for a few seconds, clearly feeling the effects of the afternoon nap wearing off and it dawned on me. This didn't have to be Get Smart.

Then again...

Now I love Get Smart. It plays on dramatic irony, has notable satirical notions based on topical current events during it's broadcast and Barbara Feldon has a very Pat Benatar feel about her for many of the seasons, but this didn't have to be airing at the moment. See, the thing is. Shows like Get Smart, and you know, MASH, Bewitched, I Dream of Jeannie, Flintstones, didn't necessarily need to take up the afternoon or pre-Primetime time slots. Why is it these baby boomer shows? I know why, simply based on the statistical possibility that somebody who grew up in that time period might be on the couch at the time (See: My sleeping Dad)

Not completely inaccurate Artists Rendering

Now these shows cost a lot of money to get syndication for. Contracts are drawn up, often for several years for importing content and then broadcasting it out. They often have to have these Australian TV channels fork out hundreds of thousands, if not millions of dollars, for syndication rights, the content itself and then people to pay to edit it and broadcast it etc. Now in that entire financial equation, the only Australians working on that content are the people who are sending it out and I promise you, they're not going to lose those people. The problem explanation is reaching it's end, I just wanted to note that rarely do I ever complain with a solution, no matter how half-arsed it may seem.

My proof reader and researcher made need some time while I figure things out better.

The solution I believe is that you could easily reinvest the money spent on those shows into Australian content. Films, TV shows, shorts and animation. All sorts of work created for multiple channels, each that could appeal to demographics and create work that could be seen by a good amount of the population. This way you employ more Australian actors, writers, producers, directors, production assistants, set designers, costumers, cameramen and God knows how many other kinds of people who work on telly and in film. Hell maybe even me.

Those shows and films can then be exported to other countries or find distribution at film festivals, Australia could be on the world stage again and you don't need to spend millions on an American campaign for a week each year. Lest we forget, an Australian did say, that content is king and that is what you guys would be creating to a great sandy compound.

You would just have to commit Regicide on this guy first.

There is an importance of creating Aussie content or content made by Australians and I think this may actually be a solution that could work. You'd be able to have content seen by different crowds, that could easily be ported to your online content delivery systems. It'd be made fairly efficiently and cheaply considering how small the budgets they work with and how professional their work has been. I know a big part of the worrying is the amount of people watching. But let me ask you, how many people are really watching Get Smart at four in the afternoon or Coyote Ugly at midnight. And hey, if it doesn't work at all, just get the pens and money ready to keep syndicating classic American sitcom and these people will go back to where they came from, the internet, the entire medium killing you slightly with every passing year.

The Internet is a bit like an autoimmuno-deficiency disease on  television.

But look at the work of talented individuals from Jungle Boys TV, Lost Dog TV, the Bondi Hipsters, A Rational Fear and thousands of other amazing content producers, such as Martin Nixon, Ben Pobjie and even Mr. Doodleburger,  could be salvaged and placed on Aussie TV's like forgotten beer cans. We don't have to have it all be coming from the ABC. WIN have had multiple Australian comedies falter in front of their face and crash and burn without the name of Hamish and Andy in front of it. Seven believes comedy has to do with inane white people problems and modern aesop tragedies that end with someone dying from texting on the phone.

You smug couch loving bastards.

We already have made some advances like a teen hitting on his teacher at a school formal. I mean JungleBoys are doing astounding and are up for several AACTA awards (See: replacement AFI awards) and I can't wait to see what they do in the coming months and even years. Clearly I've missed out bits of the problem such as casting, time management, budgeting, the unpredictability of new stars and deadlines, but I think these people will do just fine, if they have a platform and maybe a bit more time and money. Just don't exploit them, screw them over or don't pay them.

Please leave any things I'm missing out in the comments section, email me or violently tweet at me @HarrisonTheFan

Episode #8 - ESCAPING THE SON

Yep, we're still putting up the HQ eps here and eventually will have the other eps on iTunes starting February 1st, 2013.

But without further ado, here we have the latest episode of Backroom Pitching and we're on Facebook!
and Podbean! Which means we'll be on iTunes soon. And if you have title suggestions or constructive criticisms, email us!

But first, you can download it here and even torrent it.

So this week we talk about Breastfeeding and exclamation points

Deus Ex Human Revolution still sucks

Ben watched How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

We're kinda fans of Michael Moore...but not really.

Harrison worked for the SES

Nick Cage

We need to see Escape from Tomorrow

The Sweatbox....I call it the Steambox in the podcast to make a gag that I realise doesn't work now.

AND FINALLY SOME BACKDOOR PITCHING!
yes, we're calling the segment backdoor pitching


Nicolas Cage

Tobey Maguire

Chris O'Dowd

Clancy Brown

Jessica Chastain

and Viola Davis

in...

ESCAPING THE SON

CHASING THE SON

MOCKUMENTARY

"escaping the bounds of humanity"

CHILD and HORRIFIC FATHER RELATIONSHIPp

ESCAPING THE ABUSIVE WORLD

VAUDEVILLIAN ACTOR

1920'S

running away to join the circus

super8

B&W

NICK CAGE - DAD
TOBEY MCGUIRE - SON

FRANKIE MUNIZ?

ACT ONE

OLD STYLE HOUSE

Edd - DAD

Will - SON

Eddy Pastafino - Joe Pesci

Elizabeth Schultz - Jessica Chastain

Bearded Woman - Chris O'Dowd

Ringmaster Steve - Clancy Brown

Magician - David Lynch

Catherine Schultz - Viola Davis

ACT TWO

FOLLOWING

CIRCUS

FADE TO BLACK

ACT THREE

SHE DIES


See you on the otherside when you...escape the son

On the Ship - Ep #7 - Turnstyle Hate

I was sick this week, but we powered through to bring you this week's episode!

GOLDEN GLOBES

WORK

INTERNET HISTORY

UNIVERSITY EXPERIENCES

THE NEW GAMERS DICTIONARY

PURE PWNAGE

INTERNET NOSTALGIA

WE FINALLY HAVE A TITLE FOR OUR PODCAST

BUT WE LOOK UP BABY NAMES?!

And then finally...

COLIN FERRELL

SELMA HAYEK

LIAM NEESON

DAVE CHAPPELLE

IN

TURNSTYLE HATE

A story by Ben Semenchuk
Script by Ben Semenchuk and Harrison Engstrom

NOTES!

modern western drama

TURNSTYLE HATE

COLIN FERRELL as DUSTY MCTAVISH - Irish Heritage

Irish invasion

Racial 

foggy streets of new york

dusty mctavish on the streets - smoking a cigarette - low brow - trenchcoat
Spurs
cant see his face
light orange glow

MORE SPURS - IRREGULAR PATTERNS

QUICK PACING 

TURNS 

There ain't space big 

Cowboys in New York

guns on them - big coats

figures walk out of the shadows

not much - 

Dusty's town 

Ben can't do an Irish accent

IRISH vs. EVERYONE

They're dead

CREDITS SEQUENCE

FASHION TAKEN OVER IN WILD WEST FASHIONS

CORSETS AND BODICES - 

Littered subway with all these people

posters 

SELMA HAYEK as love interest, Alexis Martinez
Punk outfit, but still blending in

GLMI'S - Want - takeover the corrupt side - racists - like the Irish Mafia

CHILOULA EXPRESS = CHEX

CRACKER BARRELL = CRABS

SOUTHSIDE BOYS - SOUTHIES

MCTAVISH IS SECOND IN CHARGE

FIRST IN CHARGE - LIAM NEESON, SOOTY MCTAVISH - FATHER

RIVAL - ZACK SNYDER - THE MOTHERFUCKING GREEN

ACT TWO

FIGHTING AND BRAWLING

SECRET IRISH PUB
GRENADES THROWN INTO THE BUILDING DURING A MEETING

STEALTHY ASSASSINS IN MASKS DOING STUFF - WHO ARE THESE GUYS?

GREEN AND MCTAVISHES FIGHTING IN THE SUBWAY

SOOTY GETS SHOT AND THEN FIGHTS BACK

NO ONE KNOWS WHO 

THEY'RE IN ENEMY TERRITORY

LIAM NEESON - ARMED 

southsides + cracker barrels vs. GLMI's

DAVE CHAPPELLE = new gang leader

BEAUTIFUL SILHOUETTED DEATH SCENE

INCEST ISSUES

CHEX hoping to team up with GLMI's

ORIGINAL TONY

TONY MARTINEZ = ANTONIO BANDERES

ACT ENDS WITH COMING TO AGREEMENT

ACT THREE

RIFTS STILL GOING 

BULLET'S FLYING EVERYWHERE

GREENE'S DEAD - PLANNING DOUBLE CROSS - BUGGED THROUGH THE WHOLE 

GOING TO WAR

RELATIONSHIP WITH ALEXIS IS REVEALED IN A HEATED MOMENT 

ORIGINAL T IS DEAD 

THIRD ACT FIGHT SCENE - WESTERN STYLE FIGHTING - STAND OFFS IN THE 

DELETED TORTURE SCENE - BONDING...WHAT?

SOYLENT GREENE PLAYED BY DAVE CHAPPELLE - HALF BROTHER WITH MOTHERFUCKING GREENE

SOYLENT GREENE'S TALENT AMAZING SHOT

BULLETS HIT

"YOU'RE MY EQUAL"

SHOOTS HIM IN THE DAMN FACE

POSTER - FOUR HANDED HANDSHAKE OF ALL DIFFERENT RACES

You can download the podcast or torrent it.

On the Ship with Semenchuk - Episode #6 - Valentine's Liaison

We made it to episode 6...but we need a new title! Remember to email suggestions to harrisonthefan@gmail.com


Also we got the podcast down to less than two hours. As per usual we make a movie but before we get to our movie we talk a lot about gaming for some reason

Dishonored

Rich people don't need criticism

Silent Protagonist

The Steam Box (which one version is currently codenamed Piston)

Why are people buying the Wii U

Just a reminder we don't have a name still

Why doesn't Harrison have a professional email account?

The Bottom 100 on IMDB

and then...we make up a movie....


GERARD BUTLER

ANNE HATHAWAY

IN

THE VALENTINE'S LIAISON...

A romantic comedy that will blow your heart away...

Story by Ben Semenchuk

Written by Ben Semenchuk and Harrison Engstrom

Remember you can download it right here or just torrent it.

Also here are the notes I took while we were making this up...

The Valentine's Liaison

2013 Modern day

Black dressed lady, crosses street, sitting in cafe

New York
LA
Denver
Washington

Paris


American Anne Hathaway in Paris

touching her back 

white shirt, cufflinks

Gerard Butler

"I know you've been waiting, doll..."


Same meeting place, same time

FIRST ACT

ANNE HATHAWAY AWAKES - Sunshine bungalow window
beach

BUTLER looking at the sunrise

Anne Hathaway "I have no idea what you're talking about"

jump cuts between former torture and an accident

Mental psychosis - every sixth months - changes

Head trauma - married before 

50 First Dates meets Mr. & Mrs. Smith

Spy bunker 

The new evil 

ACT TWO

KIM JUNG IL - ROBOTS - Developed by NK

JOHN GOODMAN - LT. KERNAL - SOUTHERN ACCENT
SSA

spat on a plane

pilot is ridiculous

ADAM SANDLER - As an old female 

dies - anne hathaway cares

continue along to NK

long trek and montage and talking more flashbacks and realise what happened to her. There was an accident on their honeymoon in the Middle East

ACT III

They start to kill North Korean cannibals 

killing passive aggressively

Anne Hathaway naked and then fighting and sexing

"see you on the other side"

KOREAN TOWER - KIM JONG UN

Battle one last nuclear 

GIANT MECHAZOID

Explosives and love and high five and cut to black

Alt ending 1: Kim Jung Un wins and sets up the sequel for The Avengers which turns into Avengers 2

Alt ending 2: She gets amnesia again...