Steam Summer Sale Day 03 - Two Sentence Review Guide

So, I spent the last 48 hours in an amazing little cabin on the outskirts of Rauma in Finland. No internet, no running water and a little electricity, so I made the best of my time, making fires, drinking cider and being a man. I returned to civilisation to find that not much had changed. Clocks still went clockwise and Steam was still having a large sale on cheap games, so let's get into the front page of Day 3. Standard review style, two sentences, humourous caption with image maybe something snarky. Also remember, I'm in a different region, so prices may vary slightly.

Also I come from a different time.

First to start with the community chosen sale item, LA Noire. 1950's Los Angeles where you play as a cop picking up clues left by killers and rapists. Don't bother driving in the city, just enjoy the stunning graphics and having Phelps freak out any time you doubt someone.
9 running perps out of 10
Price: $7.50

Who took the last fucking teabag of Earl Grey?

Now with the Front Page titles.
Borderlands GOTY. This FPS RPG is one of those rare games that you'll find putting in several hours into despite the simple premise. Traverse the wasteland, gain XP, get psyched for the sequel and if you've got some friends, have the time of your life.
10 screaming psychos out of 10.
Price: $7.50

You will never get tired of headshotting these things...ever

Steam Summer Sale Day 01: The Two Sentence Review Guide

The heart races and the mind boggles at every single time the front page loads and you see the word "Sale" on the Steam front page. For those who are unaware what this means, Steam often have Summer or holiday sales which usually cause, even the common gamer, to go into fits of excitement, not dissimilar to an inebriated party girl shouting "This is my song!"

Woo Gabe Newell!

So I thought I would do two sentence review for everything on the front page. Sadly, I may be away this weekend and thought I might as well do as much as I can. I will simply be writing what I think, followed by a score, which will be consistently inconsistent.

About as much sense as this...

Terraria: Minecraft, this is not. Resource building, side-scrolling fun based around a charming an old school art style.
9 exceedingly outrageous stories out of 10.
Price: $2.50

My bed may not be a racecar, but my underground lair is pretty sweet.