Steam Summer Sale Day 03 - Two Sentence Review Guide

So, I spent the last 48 hours in an amazing little cabin on the outskirts of Rauma in Finland. No internet, no running water and a little electricity, so I made the best of my time, making fires, drinking cider and being a man. I returned to civilisation to find that not much had changed. Clocks still went clockwise and Steam was still having a large sale on cheap games, so let's get into the front page of Day 3. Standard review style, two sentences, humourous caption with image maybe something snarky. Also remember, I'm in a different region, so prices may vary slightly.

Also I come from a different time.

First to start with the community chosen sale item, LA Noire. 1950's Los Angeles where you play as a cop picking up clues left by killers and rapists. Don't bother driving in the city, just enjoy the stunning graphics and having Phelps freak out any time you doubt someone.
9 running perps out of 10
Price: $7.50

Who took the last fucking teabag of Earl Grey?

Now with the Front Page titles.
Borderlands GOTY. This FPS RPG is one of those rare games that you'll find putting in several hours into despite the simple premise. Traverse the wasteland, gain XP, get psyched for the sequel and if you've got some friends, have the time of your life.
10 screaming psychos out of 10.
Price: $7.50

You will never get tired of headshotting these things...ever

Steam Summer Sale Day 01: The Two Sentence Review Guide

The heart races and the mind boggles at every single time the front page loads and you see the word "Sale" on the Steam front page. For those who are unaware what this means, Steam often have Summer or holiday sales which usually cause, even the common gamer, to go into fits of excitement, not dissimilar to an inebriated party girl shouting "This is my song!"

Woo Gabe Newell!

So I thought I would do two sentence review for everything on the front page. Sadly, I may be away this weekend and thought I might as well do as much as I can. I will simply be writing what I think, followed by a score, which will be consistently inconsistent.

About as much sense as this...

Terraria: Minecraft, this is not. Resource building, side-scrolling fun based around a charming an old school art style.
9 exceedingly outrageous stories out of 10.
Price: $2.50

My bed may not be a racecar, but my underground lair is pretty sweet.

Sleeping with Finland

As some of you may know, that during the Summer, Finland is a bit like living in a TV sitcom. There is way too much sunlight for a normal day and at night, dusk seems to be the only setting. The faded light seems to come in just after eleven at night and it kind of feels like you're in the worst scene of an alien abduction film.

No, Finland is not filled with anal probes.

All of Finland is quite lovely, especially out in the countryside and the night's are even more spectacular. The worst you'll hear is a kid ringing their bell on a bicycle. I'm sure it's like being in the country for many other...continents, but the best part is you don't understand anything. It may sound like a hindrance, regarding the language barrier, but when you have no idea what people are yelling or talking to each other about, it just fades into the rest of the ambiance of the night with the crickets and owls of the night.

Hey, did you hear a Finnish person?

And because of that, the nightlife doesn't really exist during the summer. During a short stay in Helsinki, a small nightclub was down the road from where we were staying. My girlfriend and I were heading home from an amusement park at ten at night and saw many a goth and biker lined up in pure daylight. The only other time you see these folk is when they run out of milk, make up, pig's blood or motor oil. It was quite an amusing sight to see: Two young lovebirds hand in hand, holding a small Yoshi under one of their arms, which they'd won and a group of slightly tipsy and surly people dressed in all black standing in line and smoking ahead of them; 'twas indeed a contrast.

I thought goths sparkled in the daylight...or do they just hang out in trees?

But I do love the Finnish people. Despite my own very loud heritage reminding me weekly of how Finnish I was, the people of this cold and forest filled country are quiet and friendly. To put it this way, the first people we stayed with are the, and try and take it a step at a time, the cousin of my grandmother's, wife's sister and her boyfriend.

Totes related....

Also should mention that there is an odd satisfaction saying that you're at an amusement park til closing time, especially when that closing time is 10pm. I should also classify that I hate amusement parks. I'm awful with heights, being upside-down and I think perpetual motion is a crime against nature, so rides are often not that great for me, but I had a hell of a time at Linnanmaki. 

Eat a dick, Dreamworld.

Linnanmaki is an amusement park in Helsinki that is over five decades old and looks like it was made only a decade ago. There are hardly any kids when you go late at "night" and the lines are so short for the last hour, you practically get a ride every three minutes. We also met a really cool guy there Matias who told us just as we were leaving that we could pay five extra Euro and come back tomorrow. That's it. There's no extra bit of money or anything else. That's the rule, you pay for this extra ticket and the only problem is you have to wear the wristband for an extra day, like that is ever a problem.

I own you now.

Finland has been an exquisite country to be in and the hospitality has never ever gone to waste. Their menu is quite diverse and we've had everything from Pizza, to Steak, to Hamburger, because we're horrible tourists. I think Finland is a place people avoid due to a lack of knowledge or thinking it's just cold, but in the summer climate, the worse it gets down to, even in the night, is about 15 degrees. The days are at worse, a good Australian autumn day and I have seen barely a sliver of snow, sadly, since I landed. I really do love it here and while I will probably not write much more about my travels. I will say this, Estonia is a hellhole.

Hell is other prostitutes, right?

This is a fraction of my entire time I've been in Europe, but I just thought I might as well write about something I've been thinking a lot about today, which is how every blog post begins. Sleeping with Finland is like being a bed and breakfast with a cute quiet girl who keeps wanting to give you potatoes at every meal. It's a stunning country and even if you speak five to ten words, you can get by.

Meidän ei tarvitse tehdä mitään tänään, me?

 Estonia is still a hell hole...

University Tutorials are always a mess that no one is going to clean up.

Tutorial enrolments date back to the early 18th century, when they were known as the barbaric practice of Speed Knowledge Events or SKE's. They also kept the name for the noise people made when they failed to win during the events. The historical events had many contenders, some the best and brightest and some, the fastest, of their prospective fields. They would all line up in a single line and at the end of a long field were timed diploma's in their respected field. The Skeers, pronounced like Skiiers, rather stupidly, would then take off when the second hand reached the top of the clock and then they were off.

...and blurry for some reason. The 18th Century was really blurry.

The contenders would bounce down the track, leaping, sprinting and generally cursing at one another while they dashed towards the finish line, which would hopefully fit with what they wanted. At the end, they held their head high and shook the diplomas in the air, like a series of skunks who had learned to shout. The rest were left defeated and would shout as well and curse the names of those who had their heads high. The worst of them would cry and announce "it's not fair", over and over till a professor comforted them and someone bought them mead, beer or a hot chocolate.

Losers gotta drink something...by the way, your cat died.

However, some of the winners would curse their own reward seeing that they had gotten the wrong diploma and would then ask fellow winners if they could swap. Very rarely, some of them would be friends, and nod and actually be human beings and would swap out their timed diplomas. However some people, would just wait till the races were ever and pick up the diplomas people had left on the floor and take it to the classes they needed. Some of them just turned up and everyone was friends with them, shrugged and actually got on with their education.

WOOO! SEMIOTICS IN CLASSICAL FRENCH POETRY! WOOO!

Of course, all of this was scrapped in the digital age and no one was ever unhappy about, ever.

For educative purposes, the dog is the digital age in this scenario.

But in all seriousness, the tutorial enrolment situation may be a singularity for my University experience, but I do hoped there is a shared anger, the best kind of anger, about how unfortunate and soul crushing it feels that you can't even pick a designated time to actually learn. I understand that it is a super first world problem, but I do think that some Universities do need to address it.

Pictured: Timetable and eLearning developers.

Firstly, people should be able to make a formal interjection about when they do their tutorial, from the list of times and dates given. I hate to have a professor completely re-arrange their own schedule because Revenge is on Monday night and the person doesn't want to miss the next thing those people continue to ruin their affluent lifestyles.

Probably should have said effluent, it would've been funnier.

Secondly, people who turn up without being on the tutorial list should write, at the very least, a formal letter, detailing specifically what they were doing when the tutorials went online. It has to be signed by a witness and also has to have a sentence or two by their mum stating how they're really a good person and that they were really busy last night.

Grandmother's count as two forms of documentation.

Thirdly, if you are working and you know your boss is an asshole, just take footage of said boss and if your professor agrees with you, you are able to take whatever tutorial you want. I have heard time and time again of this situation and it seems more common than you think and this is from someone who hasn't held down a job in over a year. 

If you move your pen one more time, I will call upon Thor to strike you down.

And finally, those who complain about tutorial enrolments on the first day of Uni, should not be allowed to attend. Right now, it's two weeks before you start class, you have enough time to work it out of your system. Trust me, no one will honestly give a shit about tutorials and would rather talk about how great, dull, sex-filled, drunken or ridiculous their break was.

Dude, France was amazing!

Because I'm a massive nerd, I organise my entire timetable with colour-specific possibilities of tutorials I can take and if I can get this or that tutorial, what does it mean for the rest of my week. Also, as I've stated with previous posts, I am currently in Finland trying to enjoy myself and finding more about my family's roots. But I still have University when I get back in a few weeks time, so I try hard to get what I need, but it all still feels like the 18th century, when I tried to get a perfect Monday, starting at 10, finishing at 5 and then having nothing on from Wednesday till Friday, but nothing is perfect and I cursed the God's of Education and  screamed Skeeeeeeeeeee into the night sky.

Curse you God's of Education!

An Interview with Molly Friedrich.

Alright, so several hours ago, I had made quite an interesting discovery on Kickstarter that someone had made a great board game and things didn't go well as planned, to put it lightly. So I decided to do the thing that most people should do if they are official journalists and have hats that say Press and are important and things, I decided to investigate this strange story about Ms. Molly Michelle Friedrich.

Taken from her Kickstarter page.

What I found was something more interesting and less shocking than most people would have assumed for how I painted Ms. Friedrich in the original posting. It garnered minimal attention but was still something I was at least interested in finding more about. I contacted her Kickstarter and also found on her project page, a link to her Facebook Profile. I decided to add her as a friend and hopefully sparked up a conversation.

Now, you have to realise, right now I'm on holiday in Finland visiting family and it's currently the time of the year in Finland where the sun stays up past it's bedtime. I'm meant to be enjoying myself and not writing but I really wanted to do something and I don't know why but this seemed important. I also thought Molly may never add me or that she might get back to me in the morning, but within a few hours, I was hearing back to her and I began to realise how real this situation this was.

So I decided to conduct an interview with Molly Friedrich to get her side of the story.

The following is a cleaned up version of a Facebook conversation. Links were edited in HTML and none of the sentences have been taken out of context. The italics are the conversation and the regular text is my interjections, clearly destroying the flow of the story and changing the situation as you read it.

HE: Hi Molly,

I just read about your Kickstarter card game and I'm wondering how the project is going and if you have any updates.

Thanks again, HE

Molly Friedrich: 

Hi, 

the design is finished. J

ust trying to work through a printing issue. O

therwise I have all the supplies and its ready for printing. Y

ou can read the manual here: 

http://porkshanks.deviantart.com/gallery/

Now, I'm going to make a quick stop here to go and look at that link above. Go there, have a look at that art, which is quite fantastic and is actually featured in the upcoming gaming, Katalyka. Now, we continue:

Molly Friedrich: 

and you actually see all the cards here: 

http://porkshanks.deviantart.com/gallery/35357028

HE: 

Is there anything you want to add from your last Kickstarter post?

I was genuinely nervous to ask this question, as I was unsure if the post was something genuine or it may had slipped her mind, as it was over a month ago.

Molly Friedrich: No, new news on printing. The production is still halted until that issue can be resolved.

I tried to be as honest as I could with my approach and I did want to get her side of the story and I did plan to write a follow up, so I was clear on my intentions.

HE: 

I'm writing a story about the Kickstarter project and I'm wondering if I can use these links and what you've said in this conversation for an ending to the piece

Molly Friedrich:

sure.

HE:

Thank you so much 

Molly Friedrich: 

I'm just really frustrsated by this printing issue. I know the game is fun and I want to get it in my customers hands. So feeling trapped like this, is annoying to say the least

I felt I had to at least ask about "the sun" thing, so I guess, I just went for it.

HE: 

Just to add one more thing about you mentioning the sun is obsessing of your game iin your last post and wondering if you're able to elaborate on that at all?

Molly Friedrich:

I feel like the mindset of the game was interesting enough and has some good elements and that something in the collective consciousness (at least here in America) grabbed it as soon as it saw what I was trying to build the game around... and it became the target of some nasty attacks

I was initially confused here but I realised she was still answering my question from before and I'd rudely interrupted.

Molly Friedrich: 

I've talked a lot about this in my journal posts on deviant art

Harrison Engstrom:

THe pork shanks one?

Molly Friedrich:

I was trying to actually resolve this all because I just wanted to use ideas that have been with me for most of my Life in a "fun-to-share" way. Yeah, porkshanks.deviantart.

Okay, now stop what you're doing and go here: http://porkshanks.deviantart.com/journal/?offset=1

Before she even told me about the link, someone on Twitter linked it to me and I didn't think she would bring it up or she would explain it in a different way, but she was clear as crystal about it. Now read a few of them, maybe a whole page.

No, seriously, read a few of the posts and just let that settle in and then continue reading the rest of this conversation. I was going to repost some of it here, but I didn't think people would believe me, if I'd copy and pasted it. Just read it and either you've read it and you think the rest of this conversation may be quite odd, or you are still genuinely interested to hear her side of the story. Of course, I was interrupting again.

HE:

perfect. Do you mind if I quote this conversation for the posting? Nothing out of context, no messing about, of course.

Molly Friedrich:

Everything seemed fine while I was designing the game. It felt really positive and then right after I got it all set and ready it felt like something turned and the whole process became a living nightmare, and I'm still unsure how to cope with that controlling mind.

Yeah I don't mind, if you quote

HE

Anything else you want to add

At this point, I thought, I'd gotten everything and that maybe things had just gotten out of hand and I just wanted to finish the interview up, but she had more to say and like a good interviewing, I should have kept my mouth shut and just listened.

Molly Friedrich

I'm sorry that the people who paid for the game already dont have a copy yet and I dont want to give up on them, in spite of this taking longer than I wanted. I have all the supplies, so aside from printing the cards its ready. Boxes, labels, dice, all of it.

HE:

Thank you very much Molly.

Molly Friedrich

Sure. What are you writing for?

The jig is up! Everyone head for the woods. I decided to be honest.

HE:

I'm writing about it on my blog. I was initially harsh about what had happened with the debacle due to a thread on Reddit, but I'm glad I have your side of the story now 

Molly Friedrich: 

Okay, thanks. I don't blame people for being frustrated, I feel the same way

HE:

I was quite dickish in my initial thoughts, but it's pretty much all cleared up and I'll make sure there are links to your deviant art to make it easier for people.I can't wait to see the game made. I even mention it in the piece I'm writing. It looks incredible. Thanks again, I'll make sure people hear your side of the story now.

Molly Friedrich:

That was part of the mind that wants to keep me from communicating the ideas in the philosophy of the game. This part is hard to explain, but the idea of the game is that entire star systems are meant to work as a unified whole with a common long term goal, and that is very threatening to something out there, and the more I learn about this (Please read my latest journal entry to see what I mean) the more this argument I'm in seems to be pointing to some rather huge things happening.

It still kind of feels surreal to me to be caught in the middle of this... I was taken by surprised by it

thats about all I wanted to say. Thanks for asking my side

HE:

A lot of people were surprised by your post and I do hope nothing awful happens in the future. I do wish you the best.

Molly Friedrich

I promise I never set out to rip people off. I still think this may partially be a miscommunication on some level.

And I said more thank you's and goodbyes and I want to make it clear, I am not the good guy in this scenario. I felt guilty and also curious about who this person was and what they were doing and whilst some people may see her as a charlatan, I think she just underestimated the amount of pressure and work it took into making a full board game.

I was quick to judge her post as somewhat mental and she was more than kind enough to speak with a total stranger and explain her situation but in the end, Molly is who she is and now what I wrote and will not take down. I learnt and I investigated and I'm glad I did what I did.

Molly Friedrich is just a struggling board game developer who made a post about "the sun" harassing her and that's what she believes. She has different ideas and thoughts compared to you and I but she's still trying to make a game and she's going to in the end. Just give her some time.

Thanks again to Molly Friedrich for the interview. Her game Katalyka is still in production and will be finished when she gets that printing error sorted.