University Tutorials are always a mess that no one is going to clean up.

Tutorial enrolments date back to the early 18th century, when they were known as the barbaric practice of Speed Knowledge Events or SKE's. They also kept the name for the noise people made when they failed to win during the events. The historical events had many contenders, some the best and brightest and some, the fastest, of their prospective fields. They would all line up in a single line and at the end of a long field were timed diploma's in their respected field. The Skeers, pronounced like Skiiers, rather stupidly, would then take off when the second hand reached the top of the clock and then they were off.

...and blurry for some reason. The 18th Century was really blurry.

The contenders would bounce down the track, leaping, sprinting and generally cursing at one another while they dashed towards the finish line, which would hopefully fit with what they wanted. At the end, they held their head high and shook the diplomas in the air, like a series of skunks who had learned to shout. The rest were left defeated and would shout as well and curse the names of those who had their heads high. The worst of them would cry and announce "it's not fair", over and over till a professor comforted them and someone bought them mead, beer or a hot chocolate.

Losers gotta drink something...by the way, your cat died.

However, some of the winners would curse their own reward seeing that they had gotten the wrong diploma and would then ask fellow winners if they could swap. Very rarely, some of them would be friends, and nod and actually be human beings and would swap out their timed diplomas. However some people, would just wait till the races were ever and pick up the diplomas people had left on the floor and take it to the classes they needed. Some of them just turned up and everyone was friends with them, shrugged and actually got on with their education.

WOOO! SEMIOTICS IN CLASSICAL FRENCH POETRY! WOOO!

Of course, all of this was scrapped in the digital age and no one was ever unhappy about, ever.

For educative purposes, the dog is the digital age in this scenario.

But in all seriousness, the tutorial enrolment situation may be a singularity for my University experience, but I do hoped there is a shared anger, the best kind of anger, about how unfortunate and soul crushing it feels that you can't even pick a designated time to actually learn. I understand that it is a super first world problem, but I do think that some Universities do need to address it.

Pictured: Timetable and eLearning developers.

Firstly, people should be able to make a formal interjection about when they do their tutorial, from the list of times and dates given. I hate to have a professor completely re-arrange their own schedule because Revenge is on Monday night and the person doesn't want to miss the next thing those people continue to ruin their affluent lifestyles.

Probably should have said effluent, it would've been funnier.

Secondly, people who turn up without being on the tutorial list should write, at the very least, a formal letter, detailing specifically what they were doing when the tutorials went online. It has to be signed by a witness and also has to have a sentence or two by their mum stating how they're really a good person and that they were really busy last night.

Grandmother's count as two forms of documentation.

Thirdly, if you are working and you know your boss is an asshole, just take footage of said boss and if your professor agrees with you, you are able to take whatever tutorial you want. I have heard time and time again of this situation and it seems more common than you think and this is from someone who hasn't held down a job in over a year. 

If you move your pen one more time, I will call upon Thor to strike you down.

And finally, those who complain about tutorial enrolments on the first day of Uni, should not be allowed to attend. Right now, it's two weeks before you start class, you have enough time to work it out of your system. Trust me, no one will honestly give a shit about tutorials and would rather talk about how great, dull, sex-filled, drunken or ridiculous their break was.

Dude, France was amazing!

Because I'm a massive nerd, I organise my entire timetable with colour-specific possibilities of tutorials I can take and if I can get this or that tutorial, what does it mean for the rest of my week. Also, as I've stated with previous posts, I am currently in Finland trying to enjoy myself and finding more about my family's roots. But I still have University when I get back in a few weeks time, so I try hard to get what I need, but it all still feels like the 18th century, when I tried to get a perfect Monday, starting at 10, finishing at 5 and then having nothing on from Wednesday till Friday, but nothing is perfect and I cursed the God's of Education and  screamed Skeeeeeeeeeee into the night sky.

Curse you God's of Education!