Tuesday, 17 July 2012

Steam Summer Sale - Day 05 Two Sentence Review Guide

So I checked into the hotel next to the airport near Helsinki and have found the Wi-Fi to be quite poor, so today's post will be a lot shorter and possibly less funny. Overnight there were some great deals on Fallout New Vegas but it's gone a little bit higher to $23.99. As stated on every post, the prices may vary due to regional difference, but my thoughts about them are all the same.

The thought being: Ben Croshaw is better at being humourously mean than I am

Front Page Deals:
Metro 2033: A game that deals with the very realistic fear of public transportation in a crowded future? This post-apocalyptic world sim is quite atmospheric, but I'd wait until the sequel, Metro Last Light to be released, or just pay a little more and get S.T.A.L.K.E.R.
7 Giger Counters out of 10.
Price: $2.49

Come for the radioactive fallout, stay for the mutation.

Assassin's Creed: Revelations or the other AssCreed games: Go here, kill this, mention historical reference and then remember you're in a simulator. This historical learn'em up is quite popular and it's easy to see why; people like the word ass.
7 popular franchises out of 10
Price: $13.59

Ancient Heimlich maneuver, GO!

Indie Bundle V: Whether you're traversing your music in Audiosurf, traversing the galaxy of Gemini Rue, destroying the earth in Greed Corp, the narratively sound Tiny Bang Story and the mispronunciation of Ys, you're bound to have a great time with this bundle. Audiosurf is the clear winner here, just for replayability, but the rest are equally fun and will give you plenty of time when you're not playing Audiosurf.
5 out of 5 games in an indie bundle
Price: $9.99

This is how Rush used to compose music

Age of Empires III: An amazing series really hit a high point when they added the incremental value of the previous title. With a great interface, amazing graphics and the same old gameplay, Age of Empires III will surely delight people who liked Age of Empires II.
3 out of 3 Age of Empires
Price: $9.24

Knight of the Old Republic: Sadly, this game doesn't have a Han Solo dancing, but it does have a good storyline, fun gameplay and an enjoyable experience. Knights of the Old Republic may have been the last good Star Wars game and hopefully it doesn't stay that way.
9 "I hate you"'s out of 10
Price: $2.24

Men of War and Men of War:Vietnam : I think this game is like, completely sexist, because there were like women in war as well and it's a shame they don't get shown here, like seriously. Men of War is a great strategy game, if you're a guy or whatever, but women might want to try somewhere else.
8 Feminist pigs out of 10
Price: $7.49

Dear Esther:
Dear Steam,
This was originally a Half Life 2 mod, then Indie Fund game it some money and now it's an indie hit.
A pretty good storyline with some mixed gameplay.
9 bills out of 10 letters.
Price: $1.99

Iron Front: Liberation 1944: Even though the war lasted an extra year, Iron Front wanted to just tell you about the people who were liberated a year before. Between some interesting strategic gameplay and your usual war story, is a lot of fun to be had here, even without a metal codpiece.
8 iron wool's out of 10
Price: $19.99

RAGE: You might.
6 failed projects out of 10
Price: $16.99

Activision Hits Pack: A blur between the gun and the prototype, some packs rise above the call of duty and the singularity of the entire collection transforms into something amazing. TimeShift and Vampire Bloodlines are good too.
3 good games out of 10
Price: $49.99

Kalypso Pack: Tropico 3 and 5 are the real reason why  you know about Kalypso Games, but did you know they have other games? I haven't played them but they're bound to be pretty good, right?
8 clueless reviewers out of 10
Price: $49.99

Bethesda Pack: New Vegas and Skyrim, that's all you need to know. I mean, there are a few awesome DLC packs and Brink, but you know, New Vegas and Skyrim.
9 DLC packs out of 10
Price $49.99

Flash Sales:
F.E.A.R series: Somewhere between the jump scares and the sci-fi fan fiction, F.E.A.R was a good game. Sadly, two sequels, good graphics and a lot of mediocrity haven't saved it either; go play Amnesia.
5 "Did you see that's" out of 10
Price: $4.99

Cave Story: An unending series of caves, a cute story and some amazing graphics save this indie title from being just your run of the mill platformer. Cave Story is an underrated jewel in the indie crown and at this price, it's hard to pass up.
10 awwww's out of 10.
Price: $2.49

Fable III: If you love undelivered promises and mucking around in a medieval village, then Fable III is up your alley. Between poor game design choices and a stunning voice cast, Fable is like a sultry, gorgeous sounding phone sex worker who doesn't know how to have phone sex.
5 Peter Molyneux brains out of 10
Price: $9.99

Oh and the Community Choice was Red Faction Guerrilla or Mars Terrorist Simulator 3000. The game is so much explosive fun, that if you don't already own the THQ Collection, this is a must buy.

I will probably add pictures later because I have to catch a flight in less than 12 hours, but thank you, every single one, who read this. Share it around, I hope you can have a laugh and enjoy some games.

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