Wednesday 18 July 2012

Steam Summer Sale Day 06 - Two Sentence Review Guide

I finally made it to Turkey this evening and found a lovely bit of internet that I can use to my heart's content. Speaking of content, more games are on sale and today's haul is pretty awesome.

Okay...maybe not that awesome.


Front Page Deals:
War Game European Escalation: Finally a game based around the high prices of escalator production companies and the war they waged on high prices. European Escalation is a unique strategy game with a large arsenal of missions and weaponry, I doubt you'll get bored.
9 tiger tanks out of 10
Price: $20.00

I cannot believe they deleted this scene from Die Hard 2




Company of Heroes: A strong strategy game based around superheroes who start their own private businesses. Setting up separate global "justice leagues" you'll find yourself having so much fun with being audited, battling competition and taking down global trade policies for greedy financial gain.
10 destroyed factions out of 10
Price: $2.49

This is the worst Saving Private Ryan reanactment society I've ever been apart of.


Limbo: A dark and frightening game based around the back breaking labour of limbo competitions. The moody atmosphere and minimalist visuals will keep you venturing further and further in the heart of darkness as the bar for adventure is raised lower and lower.
9 Fuck You Spider's out of 10.
Price: $2.49

Bro! You forgot your backpack!


Stronghold 3 Gold: While I didn't enjoy Stronghold 3 Silver, or Stronghold 3 Bronze to a lesser extent, this medieval strategy game really shows what being in the dark ages is all about: setting fire to the next village without remorse. The game looks incredibly detailed and should provide hours of fun ad OCD-like preparation for the next wayward attack.
8 burning horses out of 10
Price: $13.59

You can burn castles too!


Grand Theft Auto 4: A loathesome experience abounds in this urban tale of morality and American ideals. Set beneath the streets of Liberty City is a large amount of content you really shouldn't bother with and a single expansion pack that's actually worth playing and still explore the vast city.
7 Annoying calls from your cousin out of 10
Price: $4.99 (Ballad of Gay Tony: $4.99, or get the pack for $12.49 and play better GTA games)

Yay, now I can die in a car crash using a phone...in a video game!


Call of Duty: Blops: Get ready to fire some shots at zombies and completely ignore the plot of 2010's highest selling game. Voted best story line for a video game by a bunch of dumbasses, you really should just play the zombie mode with JFK , get your kicks with some friends and give your money to charity.
3 shots to the head out of 10 Kennedy's.
Price: $29.99, that you could give to charity.

Oddly enough, not a zombie in this game.

Spec Ops: The Line: They say it's a thin line between love and hate and an even thinner line between Ops and Spec Ops. You play an optometrist heading into deadly territory and this time you may need some contacts.
8 Secret Exploding Missions out of 10
Price: $33.49

Watch out! That plane's a terrorist!


Train Simulator 2012: FUCKING GET THIS GAME! HOLY SHIT, IT HAS TRAINS AND IT LOOKS FUCKING AMAZING
2012 FUCKING TRAINS OUT OF 10
Price: WHO GIVES A FUCK?! TRAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

TRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS


Indie Bundle VI: The insanely difficult Space Chem, the falling with style of Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, the devastatingly fun DEFCON, the adventurous Ticket to Ride and the beautifully tragic Trauma, all make up the sixth indie bundle. DEFCON alone, is a lot of fun for you and some very nihilistic mates.

It may not look like much, but you are ending billions of lives here.


For Flash Sales that will probably go before this even goes live:
Binary Domain: A game for all you 1's and 0's out there, who love rocking the house. Set in the future where everything is either good or bad, robots make their mark by deciding for you, whether you're numero uno or nothing.
1 out of 1
Price: $13.59

Is there something on my face?

Double Fine Pack: What I originally thought was just Stacking and Psychonauts turned out to be an amazing triple pack with Costume Quest thrown in for fun. Tim Schafer is a comedic game God and deserves your money.
3 out of 3 games that deserve your money.
Price: $7.49

The amount of awwing pales in comparison to the fart  jokes.


Duke Nukem Forever: Nope
Nope of out 10
Price: Nope.99

I know he used to be cool! I know...


Sniper Elite V2: You know in Fallout 3 and New Vegas, when you fire on some people with VATS and goes slow motion and it's always cool? Imagine that, but with more detail and with nazi's.
10 pieces of grey matter out of one cerebellum
Price: $24.99

It's okay, they're nazi's


And now for those sweet Packs
Focus Home Interactive: Other than Telltale and the old Lucas Arts, FHI are a great storytelling game company and even made a pretty decent Game of Thrones game. They have a few other genre's under their belt and I highly recommend checking them out.
10 twisted tales of intrigue out of 10
Price: $49.99

Wow, the Stark's are really different in this game.


Paradox Interactive: A truly amazing game studio that really deserves more of an audience. They're never afraid to make new games and try new things and for that alone I commend them and their multiple game pack.
10 intrepid explorers out of 10

By the way, we mounted this horse ourselves.


I'm only here for a like two days so I plan on relaxing before I have to head home for Uni. Hope you're enjoying the games and I'll be ready with a new review guide tomorrow.

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